Big Rigs Saves Life

This story was sent in by ___SEAL of GameFAQs.

"My dad was a broken down, haggard old mess. Every day would consist of knocking cheap liquor down his gullet as fast as humanly possible, sleeping and occasionally staring at the trucks that would go past outside the window, racing each other whilst delivering cargo, wishfully wishing to join them and experience such a winning lifestyle. He was once a truck driver, but a fatal accident once day whilst roaming up steep mountains led to him breaking near every bone in his body and being forced into retirement.

It was a cold morning, winter was slowly but clearly approaching and I had returned home with a copy of the wonderful game we all love, the beauty that is Big Rigs: Over The Road Racing. I bought this thinking it would perhaps restore some enthusiasm to my father, but boy did it exceed my expectations! From the main menu, I knew I was about to delve into an instant classic and after my first race I was speechless. I lifted my paralysed father and brought him over to have a go then and he wouldn't stop playing for hours, this almost annoyed me as I was dying to play some more but it was a joyous sight to see him so happy. Gradually during the 12 hour session he spent playing, colour returned to his face, his arms became firm and muscular once again and eureka! He jumps out of his seat and we screamed with joy! The divine ultra-game had cured him!

He returned to his truck driving trade, and was not only better than ever, obviously what with the experience and tips learned from Big Rigs but he became one of the best the world had seen, conquering the greatest mountains in no time and possessing a mysterious ability to go through bothersome houses and travel through evil bridges! Even I, a revered Big Rigs player couldn't figure this one out! Now, he lives by the motto '' I will never lose. I'm winner. You're WINNER! ''. I just wanted to thank this 10/10 game for helping save his life. Thank you."

JaySticLe's quest for 2 million subscribers

(In)famous YouTube star JaySticLe has apparently discovered that YouTube sensation Fred has 1 million subscribers. Obviously, JaySticLe is pissed that some dude who joined months after he did (oh, and is an employee at Google) has over 10 times as many subscribers as him, and he has decided to take action. He has put up a video on his YouTube and registered a website, http://thequestfor2millionsubscribers.tk/. He also sat down for an interview with me.

ME: So, JaySticLe, you apparently are quite mad that Fred has more subscribers than you.

JaySticLe: No [explitive deleted], Sherlock! I mean, seriously, I've seen better journalism in the National Enquirer!

ME: That's a bit mean.

JaySticLe: But true!

ME: Alright, well, if you wanna help JaySticLe with this (in my opinion) stupid idea which will never take off -

JaySticle: Excuse me, but WHAT DID YOU SAY?! Alright, just let me shill it. If you want to help me with this serious cause, just go to http://thequestfor2millionsubscribers.tk/ and watch the video. Thanks!

EXCLUSIVE: Interview with Randy Orton

I recently snagged an exclusive interview with Randy Orton, WWE Superstar. Here below is what happened.

ME:Alright, I'm Jay Mann here with former World Heavyweight Champion Randy Orton. Randy, have you checked out my new website, -

Orton: Don't promote your [expletive deleted]ty website in my interview.

ME: But... this interview IS on that site!

A picture of a bloodied Randy Orton

Orton: Oh. I take that back. This is a [expletive deleted]ty INTERVIEW! I'm leaving!

ME: No, don't! Randy! DAMN!